3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my shit smells like andre
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
