So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
