white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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