And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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