I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
