No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize