She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize