She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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