How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
