I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
