this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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