So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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