I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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