you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
