i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
