What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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