Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
