You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
