I wish i was in the wii world.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
