I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
