He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
