just come out here and I will go home with you...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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