That's intense
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
