he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize