Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you had me at cake vodka
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
