Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
