I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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