i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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