i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
