Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Boobs speak an international language.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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