somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
