Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
