therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
