Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
