he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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