Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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