bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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