He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize