So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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