We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
