she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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