Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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