it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
