The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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