I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
