I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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