margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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