so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
