I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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