He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
