Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm at about main and main street
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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