i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
