...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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