she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
