...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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